'I don't see color'

I had a conversation with my sweetie the other day which made me realize I'd been indoctrinated by white supremacists.  The school I attended from k-10 was run by white supremacists and was crazy racist.  They didn't believe they were racist, which, I think, is part of the problem with discussing race issues today.  It is hard to convince people who believe they treat everyone fairly that they are racist.  But I'm starting to understand a bit of what I believe racism really is between individuals and why good people (or people trying to be good) can be racist, and here's where I'm at:

People believe racism is skin deep.  For racists that I know, race is synonymous with skin color.  They say things like "I don't see color."  Toni Lahren said this in an interview with Trevor Noah and I think that unpacking this sentiment has given me a lot of clarity.  I contend that for white people in this country, "I don't see color" means "I'm going to treat and interpret people as if they were white."  Discounting whatever background they bring with them.

An obvious example is when someone gets angry that another person doesn't speak English.  "If they're in our country, they should speak the language!"  But it's more subtle and insidious than that. For example, interpreting particular habits (body language, voice volume, gestures) as angry or disrespectful could cost someone a job, even if that interpretation is incorrect.

Here's an example I found eye-opening: I'm from New Orleans. After Katrina homes were destroyed, and there were not enough workers in New Orleans to perform the repairs.  Thus, New Orleans saw a large influx of undocumented workers, mostly Mexican.  These workers unsettled me, and many people in New Orleans.  It wasn't their skin color specifically that bothered me.  I noticed that these workers stared; they stared at women A LOT.

Now, I don't presume to know whether this is a thing in Mexico or not.  All I can say is that it was a thing in New Orleans and it created and fueled a lot of hostility between those workers and others in the city.  Now, think about it, you're walking down the street and you notice a lot of men staring at you, what do you do?  I felt threatened, many men felt protective of their female companions.  This seems totally reasonable!

It is reasonable.  Most of the time in America, that level of eye contact and staring from a stranger is accompanied by threatening behavior.  That's just how our culture is, we don't stare at strangers.  But that wasn't the case with these workers.  For some reason, staring was part of their culture and was their normal.

Saying "I don't see color" means you're going to react to their behavior as if it were coming from someone like you.  For white people in this country, "I don't see color" means that I'm going to treat and interpret people as if they were white, without exception or empathy.  Some people think that's totally fine, and don't consider this racist at all.  They would proudly identify with this sort of thinking.  I think we need to label this something other than racist, for two reasons. The "I'm not racist." mentality shuts down a lot of conversations that should be happening, and if they had a label they were proud of, they might use it and be easier to identify.


And now a helpful comic by CharlieBink.

2017 Will Be Better

I think very few people would disagree with the idea that 2016 sucked.  Aside from the world itself seeming to implode, I lost sight of how much I loved fitness, gained too much weight, and generally spent the year feeling sorry for myself.  In 2017 I'm focused on a healthier and happier me. Thus, my goals are:

• Write 50 blog posts,
• Take 4 million steps,
• Cook 300 meals,
• Meditate 200 times,
• Bike 1 thousand miles.

I spent a lot of time working on the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 thing, so be impressed.  Here's the breakdown:

50 blog posts may not sound like much, and it really isn't.  But the last n blogs I've created I left alone for longer than I was comfortable with, so I just gave up.  My goal will be one post a week and I'm not going to limit the subject at all.  Cooking, health, fitness, rants, reviews, reminiscing, it's all fair game.

4,000,000 steps works out to about 11,000 steps a day. I'm using a pedometer, specifically my pebble watch, to monitor this.  Realistically, I know I'll miss days, so I'm going to aim for a 13k minimum each day, to give me a bit of a buffer.

300 meals cooked includes meals that I cook and eat more than once.  For example, I plan to make a pot of oatmeal every Monday and separating it into jars with fruit and berries.  Thus this would count for 5 meals.  However, Voila bags don't count.  That's not cooking, just heating.

200 meditation sessions is a tricky one.  I could theoretically meditate 200 times on 12/31/2017 and have it count, right?  And I do get really busy, so that's not an unreasonable hack.  So I'll say that for my first meditation in a day to count it has to be over 5 minutes.  If I do a second one, it needs to be over 10 minutes.  Two is my limit.

1,000 biked miles means I need about 20 miles a week.  On 12/28 I rode 4 miles on my stationary bike and it kicked my ass, but I imagine it will get easier the more I ride.  I'll start with a goal of 2 miles a day then work up to 12 miles 3 times per week.

1 vacation means a trip (no STAYcations will count) that is not for work.  It should include 2 nights away from home.

I'll maintain a spreadsheet to keep track of some of them (I really like spreadsheets!) by filling out a form each morning. I created the form myself using google forms.  You can find a copy here.  I set my calendar to remind me every morning to fill out the form for the day before.

I have other goals for the year that are less rigid, but I thought making these public would help me get my life back together.  Hopefully knowing I need to report on it will make it easier for me to hold myself accountable.